Monday, November 28, 2005

Not Permanent, but a little more so...

Well, after a year of stressing about it, looking at the fees and going, "I can't afford that right now", I finally had my interview to lodge my application for migration today. And it worked. Almost too easy. So I am, as of this morning, an official temporary resident in Australia. This means I have all the benefits of being a permanent resident, except for being able to claim benefits. Fine, I wasn't planning to do that anyway. God help you, Australia, I've been let loose!!!
The big question now is how to celebrate. The great thing is that we have today off work, but I am going to train in about an hour and am sure Michael will come up with some little treats for me, he always does! Then, tonight, having booked it months ago, is finally the night we go and see the Kaiser Chiefs and the Foo Fighters perform, YAY! I reckon that should be quite a celebration.
I have just one more thing to add to this rambling, really pretty appallingly written post. It's nearly Christmas and I'm really getting into the spirit of the season. It feels great. I'll write more about it soon. Love you all xxxxx

Sunday, November 20, 2005

BATON DOWN THE HATCHES!!!

I woke up this morning to a perfect Brisbane blue sky yellow sun day and wondered a little to myself how the forecast for storms could possibly be right. "Maybe they'll come this evening", I thought to myself, before getting up and going about my day. Lisa and I pottered into town, I with my shirt off, soaking up the sun, loving the feel of the air on my skin. Pottering was done and Ice cream was eaten in the shade of a tree in South Bank before the potter back home. Shortly after arriving home, the most spectacular, long dark grey cloud appeared over the horizon off the back of our balcony. It was like a sheet being pulled across the sky towards us, being perfectly flat on its' underside. The only definition was on the front lip of the cloud, which had the appearance of a large wave breaking. All was still perfectly serene, the sun still shining, until this Behemoth arrived overhead. Upon its arrival, as if out of nowhere, the most incredible wind whipped up. We had all the doors and windows open and anything weighing less than two kilos or so was blown across the room. This wind was so strong that it even made opening and closing the sliding doors quite a feat. Looking off the balcony it was as if a hurricane was coming in, watching people who, having lain in the sun five minutes previously, were running for the shelter of their homes, gathering washing and anything else that might be blown away as they went. Others tied down tools and ladders lying exposed on the back of their utes and one brave (or very foolish) soul was still waterskiing on the river, albeit entirely at the mercy of the route the wind chose for him. Some quite spectacular cloud accompanied, photos of which can be seen on my flickr page.

Friday, November 18, 2005

McCharity

Yes Boys and Girls, it's that time of year again, time for McHappy day. Those wonderfully kind and generous folks over at Maccers are giving one dollar, yes one dollar of every big Mac purchased to charity. Not just any charity either, but the Ronald McDonald house charity. Super. Splendid. Magnificent. Now excuse me but is anyone actually buying this SHIT?! I mean please! I would say if they really wanted to make a contribution, a corporation like McDonalds could afford to give the entire cost of every big Mac sold to charity for one day. Especially when one considers their contribution to harming the world and the world's youth. I'm speechless, I really am. And another thing, at the Ronald McDonald house, do they feed them Maccers Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner? If so, it may just be that they'd be better off on the streets.
We must stand up and fight this abomination. We must boycott Maccers on (what we shall now refer to as) Mcwegiveafuckaboutyourchildrennoreallywedoeventhoughwe'retryingtopoison,corruptandbrokethemaswellasdestroyingtheworldthey'llhavetoliveinwhenwe'regone day, and every other day. (Easy for me to say, maybe, seeing as I haven't eaten it for years because I think it really is the most terrible shit and would rather drink bleach than put that rubbish in my body) We must petition Jamie Oliver to lead the army against Ronnie's army (how fitting, a clown General for a clown General!) Can I get a "Hurrah!"?

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Look a little closer...

I just completed a one hundred things about me post that I started on Sunday. Because I started it before my previous post (are you following, I know what I'm talking about and so should you!), when I posted it just now it went in below "Little things". So if you're up for it, scroll on down and check it out. Love you Guys xxxxx

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Little Things

Hey Guys, how are you all? Good I hope. Sorry I haven't posted for a while, I've been up to my usual tricks and thinking a whole lot of amazingly profound things whilst doing so. I just haven't gotten around to committing them to the blogosphere and have sadly now forgotten them, so I'll have to make up some other crap instead, as usual!
My thing at the moment is trying to make changes, trying to be a better person, and trying to be more at peace with my surroundings and whatever life may throw at me. As those of you who read regularly will know, I've recently been questioning my chosen profession, etc., and thinking that this time must surely be the time to actually do something about it because I've been through this so many times before that there must be something in it. Well it is the time that I have to do something about it, or more accurately, about me. I'm going to stick at it, but have to make some big changes to myself, one of the big motivations for sticking at it being the potential for making personal changes. For example, I was getting to feel worn down by work, and to feel that I wasn't getting the personal time and space to have a life. It is a very draining profession at times, dancing, for the body but even more so for the spirit. Recently we'd only been getting one day off a week (for about three months to be precise), and working many evenings. I've now decided to maximise the time I have, and spend quality time when I do have time off, doing things that recharge my spirit. Every evening, whenever possible, I get home in time for the sunset, and if I'm already home, stop whatever I'm doing and go out on the balcony to watch the sun go down. We have a great view from our balcony and you can watch the sun go down over the hills in the distance (I just posted some photos on my flickr page for you to see, just click on the link on the right). It's so very peaceful, my quiet moment for reflection. And cheesy as it may sound, as I watch the sun slide down behind the hills, shooting out it's last rays, I feel as if the light fills me up. It's so very beautiful and a little bittersweet, as I seem to feel more intensely the ending of the day. Sometimes I gaze upon it and feel that it's the last sunset and the sun will never rise again.
So that's that. Last week also happened to be when
  • The Cat Empire
  • were in town for two nights only. I have wanted to see them perform live for quite some time now so got straight in and bought tickets the very moment they went on sale. On the night, Lisa, Nikki and I pottered along after work and got our place right near the front at The Tivoli, a fantastic little concert venue with great acoustics. Now I really could go on all day and all night about this but won't. I'll just say, unbelievable. In fact, UNBELIEVABLE! There was dancing, singing, face melting solos, more singing, more dancing (for 'dancing', read 'jumping around like crazed idiots grinning from ear to ear'), and a whole lotta love flying around!! It was a great, great night, and another thing that I felt charged me right up. I always feel so great when I go to a good concert. Live music has such amazing power to move me and every time I go to a concert I kick myself for not going more often. I had even been considering selling my tickets to see the Kaiser Chiefs and the Foo Fighters at the end of this month to help fund my application to migrate but now there's no way! Let the healing begin I say, I'll get by financially but if I don't nurture my spirit, life can become such a drag!
    I'm going to leave you with that thought for now but will post again soon and tell you what else I'm doing to make my life richer and what's rocking my world. I'm also working on a one hundred things about me post as I have been led to believe that one cannot be taken seriously as a blogger without having done so! I love you all and hope this finds you well. Take good care of yourselves xxxxx

    Sunday, November 13, 2005

    100 Things...

    Ok, I did promise my good Buddy Bodhi a 100 things about me post many months ago, despite fervently believing that I wouldn't be able to find 100 interesting things to say about myself. I still feel that, and also feel that I talk too much about myself as it is, but feel bad about the lack of posts this week and can't think of anything else to say! So here it is;
    1/ I was born in Archway, London, UK, at the Whittington hospital on the 8th of June 1981.
    2/ I now live in Brisbane, Australia.
    3/ I have fallen in love with Australia after having been here less than a year and a half.
    4/ I love the weather.
    5/ Love the people.
    6/ Love the lifestyle.
    7/ I do, however, consider myself a true London Lad and not a day goes by when I don't miss it.
    8/ I have now not been home for almost a year, the longest I have been away without a visit home.
    9/ Before living here I lived in Koblenz, Germany (near Frankfurt) for a year, before that two years in Dessau, Germany (near Berlin) and before that a year in Zurich, Switzerland.
    10/ My girlfriend Lisa and I met in Dessau, where we were both in the ballet company in the theatre.
    11/ Lisa is Australian and we were both foreigners is a very foreign land. We met there mid August and got together on the stroke of midnight on New Year's eve!
    12/ Dessau grew to be less foreign with time and I now hold some very fond memories of the time there.
    13/ During my time in Dessau, I picked up German (makes it sound like a disease, doesn't it?!) and now speak it fluently. I love the language.
    14/ I can also read and write it, although not as well as I can speak it.
    15/ Whilst in Dessau, I also picked up a fair bit of Spanish, as there were a fair few Spanish speaking dancers in the company.
    16/ This was helped by the fact that I had previously learnt French whilst spending the summer in Brittany at my first Girlfriend's house.
    17/ It has now been so long since I've actually spoken French to anyone that I don't know if I'd really trust myself, but am sure it'd come back quickly enough.
    18/ I love learning and studying languages and hope to do more of it someday.
    19/ There are about a billion things that I'd love to do someday, including;
    20/ Go parachuting.
    21/ Visit Tibet.
    22/ Visit Peru.
    23/ Visit India.
    24/ Be filthy rich (I was going to omit that one as I am well aware what an arsehole it makes me sound, but hey, it's true, and if that makes me an arsehole, I am what I am!).
    25/ I change like the seasons, only a lot more frequently and a lot less predictably.
    26/ This time last year, I was practising yoga often and finding ever greater peace through the practise.
    27/ This year I am working out with a trainer and getting steadily in better shape. I am also finding peace through this, although not in quite the same way.
    28/ I still, despite not having practised yoga for almost two months, aspire to find the motivation to get up at five o'clock and practise yoga on a consistent basis, at least three times a week or so.
    29/ I will get there, I'm taking
  • Baby Steps
  • .
    30/ I have been making some lifestyle changes recently, changing my diet to be more healthy, working out, etc.
    31/ Don't ask me why, I don't know. Call me vain but it feels good.
    32/ It is giving me a goal, a focus, something I don't feel I've had for a while now, and contributing to my work.
    33/ I am trying hard to make work work at the moment. If you're puzzled, read some of my previous posts.
    34/ I'm running out of steam already, I told you I would.
    35/ And I'm only just over a third of the way through.
    36/ I'm going to have scrambled eggs with smoked salmon for dinner, something I've been looking forward to all day.
    37/ It is one of my favourite things to eat at the moment.
    38/ I also have some really lovely salmon, as Lisa and I have recently finally gotten around to going into the fishmonger down the road, something we've been meaning to do for ages, as it looked like they had great fish.
    39/ They do have great fish.
    40/ I am a big seafood lover, (another great thing about living here, the seafood's great) but don't eat meat anymore.
    41/ That is, mostly don't eat meat anymore, I ocasionally get a craving for Nando's which must be satisfied. (once in the last three months).
    42/ I did, in 2003, give up all meat, fish, and almost all dairy products for almost half a year.
    43/ I still ate well and felt very healthy, but it all fell apart when Lisa and I went to Oslo for an audition and I couldn't get anything without meat in it.
    44/ I could, thereafter, have gone back to that diet, but do love to eat and enjoy a nice bit of meat as much as the next Man.
    45/ It's things like a good old Full English Breakfast, Bacon sarnies and Nandos that will always trip me up in that respect.
    46/ I love a good breakfast, from a purely foodie point of view.
    47/ I also love getting together with friends for breakfast. There's something about breakfast that I find so cosy. You might have dinner with friends, or good friends, but breakfast is something you do with GREAT friends.
    48/ I'm odd.
    49/ I know it.
    50/ So does everybody else who knows anything about me.
    51/ Ok, I started this on Sunday and it's now Wednesday.
    52/ I am one of the great procrastinators.
    53/ I was brought up without any specific religion.
    54/ I have, in the past few years, taken an increasing interest in religion and spirituality and have been particularly taken to the Tao Te Ching and Tibetan Buddhism.
    55/ I have considered exploring further but feel that I am not ready. I am finding my own way and feel that, for now at least, I need the freedom to puzzle things out for myself.
    56/ The decisions I am coming to about life are all about balance. Balancing good and bad, happy and sad, balancing the physical, mental and emotional.
    57/ I am fundamentally a pretty unbalanced person and have at least two very contrasting sides to my personality.
    58/ I was born on the 8th of June, 1981 (yes, a Gemini)
    59/ I consider myself incredibly fortunate when it comes to the people in my life. I have the privilege of calling some of the most amazing people ever my friends and family.
    60/ Whether they'll admit they're related to me or call me their friend is another matter entirely.
    61/ I have an amazing family and consider my Mum and Brother two of my very best friends, two of the people in the world I will turn to first, talk to about anything.
    62/ Due to this, despite a not inconsiderable amount of empathy under normal circumstances, I find it very hard to understand people who have real problems with their families. I just don't get people who say, "yeah, I haven't spoken to my Brother/ Mother/ Father/ Sister for five years because we had a big fight, and I never want to talk to them again". (Sorry to anyone in that situation)
    63/ The more I see, the more people I talk to, the more it seems that my family is the exception rather than the rule.
    64/ We're not perfect either, we're all quite mad.
    65/ Sadly, my Father died almost ten years ago now. That's a long story.
    66/ I never cease to be amazed how fast time goes, but despite the (amazing) amount of time that has passed, my Dear Dad is still very much present.
    67/ He was a great man and although I have no regrets and know that this was the way it had to be, I do sometimes wish he could still be here, do sometimes wonder what life would have been like.
    68/ Going back to my Friends and family, I suffer terrible guilt for not being as good a friend/ Son/ Brother/ Grandson/ Cousin/ Nephew, etc., to them as they deserve. I never write, even now that I've got a computer at home, and certainly never call.
    69/ I would love to speak to them all more often, write to them more often, generally let them know how much they mean to me and how much I miss them.
    70/ I will get to that stage, given time.
    71/ By the time I get there they will probably no longer remember who I am.
    72/ I'm excited as I've nearly made it to a hundred now but feel I'm really scraping the barrel.
    73/ I am a big music lover, always have been. I am rarely to be seen without my ipod (before that it was a CD player, before that a Walkman) , and temper my moods with music.
    74/ I love the beautiful, beautiful people at apple. Even though the battery on mine is fading fast, the ipod has changed my life and I will always love it.
    75/ I love films too, and am always particularly impressed by films with great soundtracks.
    76/ I am a big sap and have been known to blub at films, songs, nice writing, anything really. As a kid I used to laugh at my Mum blubbing at sappy old movies and inherited the trait by a particularly cruel twist of fate. The sorts of films that get me going are things like It's a Wonderful Life, La Vita E Bella and A Muppet Christmas Carol (No, I don't want to say it again and yes, you did hear me correctly!) .
    77/ I love love love Christmas and have a set list of films that have to be watched every year on and around Christmas. These are the aforementioned It's A Wonderful Life and A Muppet Christmas Carol, as well as Raymond Briggs' The Snowman and Father Christmas, A Nightmare Before Christmas and Miracle on 34th St.
    78/ I do believe in Father Christmas.
    79/ I do find the Christmas decorations being up already too much, but must admit to being immensely excited about Christmas.
    80/ I sadly won't be going home for Christmas this year and have to admit to being somewhat dubious about Australian Christmas (one of the few facts about living here that I'm not 100 % about) , it just won't be the same when it's over thirty five degrees outside.
    81/ I love people, despite all their imperfections (or perhaps because of them?) , and tend to see the good in people, sometimes to the point of ridiculousness, or so I have been told.
    82/ I would love to help people on a grander scale but am beginning to feel that the most significant contribution I can make is to find peace, to be true to myself as well as others and to be kind, fair and conscious in all my interactions with others.
    83/ I believe that for all its pain and suffering, war and famine, the world is perfect. I don't believe it could be different. Well I do, I just believe that there will always be as much of the bad things. I believe that there is a perfect balance between good and bad.
    84/ I love the night, and sometimes stay up later than I should because it feels great just to be, to look out over the world as it sleeps, to listen to the sounds of the night.
    85/ I love to write, and always have done.
    86/ I have always wanted to write a book, or books, but just don't feel that I have anything unique enough to say to warrant it.
    87/ Maybe that's just an excuse, I have been known to be complacent in the past.
    88/ I have, however, also been known to be positive, passionate and focussed.
    89/ I always doubt the spelling of focussed.
    90/ I am the world's most anal person when it comes to writing text messages and insist on using correct punctuation and none of the crappy text abbreviations, they drive me mad. I have been known to write single messages that were up to eight texts long.
    91/ I love food. I REALLY love food. Don't get me started.
    92/ I dislike many things, including; bad people, bad jokes, bad music, incompetent people, arrogant people, unthinking people, people who are mean, people who are smelly and unwashed, people who tell bad jokes, people who play bad music, people who are untrue to themselves, people with no empathy, the list goes on.
    93/ I love good conversaion, and love good humour. I LOVE to laugh, and to see others laugh. I like to dance, and sing and be merry and joyous.
    94/ It's late and I'm really running out of anything meaningful to say. This all started out pretty meaningless and went downhill all the way from there. I also know that the minute I make it to a hundred, the floodgates will open and I'll think of another twenty things I just HAVE to say.
    95/ One of my nicknames as a kid was Martin Oddsocks Mc Weirdo.
    96/ Other nicknames were Creature, Crusher and Monster.
    97/ I plan to get up at five o'clock tomorrow morning and practise Yoga for the first time in a while. I often set my alarm for five o'clock, meaning to do yoga, then just wake up, turn it off and go back to bed to snuggle up to Lisa. She has come to call it the five o'clock cuddle alarm.
    98/ I'm terrible at getting out of bed in the mornings. I love to snuggle, and have been known to keep hitting the snooze button for over an hour.
    99/ I do, however, never regret it when I do manage to get up really early. I think that early mornings are magnificent and always mean to make time to watch the sunrise.
    100/ One day I will. When I've made time for all those other things I have to do.
    101/ Sorry, couldn't leave this one out now could we? I love you (especially if you've read all the way down here, you're a saint!!) Take good care xxxxx

    Friday, November 04, 2005

    Another thought

    I had another thought yesterday, one that I didn't get around to writing last night as it was late. It was about art. Often, when thinking, or discussing what art is about, what it means, allusions are made to the deeper meaning. Last night, though, during the show, it occurred to me that it is, sometimes, merely about getting up there and doing it, no matter how you feel about it, or what's going on in your life. I guess it comes back to the Baby Steps thing, seeing things for what they are, now, and finding a way in. Oh well, better be off, training at nine o'clock. Love you all xxxxx

    Baby Steps

    "A journey of a thousand miles begins with just one step"

    Hey Guys, sorry I haven't found much time to write, after all my excitement and, "Going to write lots"-ness. Ah well, a couple of times a week is already better than the previous couple of months when I didn't write at all!
    I had a semi-profound thought the other day. It occurred to me that as we get older, we place greater expectations on ourselves and the world around us. We expect that if there's something to be made to happen, we should be able to make it happen pretty much immediately, if not merely very quickly. Then I realized that we still have to take Baby Steps. No matter how old we are, no matter how accomplished, how big and strong and clever, things only work one step at a time. This gave me great comfort. It took all the pressure off the wrong places, and re-applied it in all the right ones. You see it means I don't have to beat myself up about becoming a better person overnight, about ironing out any perceived character defects in a weekend. I don't have to be able to do the things at work that I'd like to tomorrow, and I don't have to be financially stable, have money invested and all my remaining debts paid by next Monday morning. It does however, mean that I have to apply myself, every day. I have to work hard, and with conviction, every day. I have to continue to look inside, see myself as plainly as possible, and try and improve myself bit by bit, even if that means just holding my tongue, or speaking up, handling a situation better. I have to be smart, and aware, conscious of my actions, every day. And if I catch myself wanting too much, too soon, or if I feel someone else is asking me for something that I can't provide today, but am striving for, you know what I'm going to say? I'm going to say, "I'm taking Baby steps", and I'll say it with a smile!
    I hope you're well Guys, don't get ahead of yourselves and don't let anyone else stress you out. If they do, you know just what to say! Take good care of yourselves, I'll write again soon xxxxx