K.G.'s "The Prophet"

Ok, I'd like to start out by saying that I don't want to bring you Guys down, this blog isn't going to be all about death and sadness. If anything, it'll be more about life and joy. Glass half full sort of stuff. Like you know, we often get it wrong. When someone dies we selfishly cling on and mourn their loss. Not that I'm saying it's easy to let go, God knows, it's one of the hardest things to do. We grow up and learn to hold on, to possess, to cling to whatever and whoever we can in order to feel secure and to give our lives some meaning. We find it hard to let go of things. If people move away, if we get a new job, a new house, whatever, it's never easy, but it is often good in the long run. We fear the unknown. We have come to define ourselves, to regulate our being, to arrange ourselves around a certain way of life with certain things, certain people and certain rules. When one of the major factors changes, we know that it will change us, and we fear that, it uproots us. But it gives us a chance to start afresh, be born again, if you like, to recreate ourselves. People, of course, are the hardest things to let go of, for what do we define ourselves by more than the people we surround ourselves with?
Back to the point though, we should not mourn a death, for then we mourn our loss. We should celebrate a life. We should give that one we love and have lost a good send off, try and be happy for them and wish them well on their next big adventure. And we should celebrate the privilege of having had that wonderful person in our lives, no matter how short a time it may have been for. Moreover, we should celebrate our lives. If you think about it, in sheer mathematical terms, being alive is amazing. How many millions of sperm compete to fertilize how many eggs? And we made it. Sure, if it was a different one of those little swimmers, it would still have been one of Dad's, and one of Mum's eggs, but the circumstances would have been different, we would have been different. So if we achieve nothing else in life, we achieved that. Quite a feat hey?! And also, the mathematics of this universe, this world, of everything coming together the way it has? Nothing short of bloody amazing!
Anyway, I didn't post tonight to give you my words, but those of someone far more eloquent. For those of you unfamiliar with the work, it is called"The Prophet", and was written by Kahlil Gibran. It is a fantastic little book, and one which I turn to again and again for inspiration and an aid to understanding. Even years on, the more I read it, the more it means to me, the more it grows on me. And what with it being somewhat the theme of the week, I thought I'd share his thoughts on Death with you all. Enjoy.


"On Death

Then Almitra spoke, saying, We would ask now of Death.
And he said:
You would know the secret of death.
But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?
The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light.
If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.
For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.

In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;
And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring.
Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.
Your fear of death is but the trembling of the sheperd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honour.
Is the sheperd not joyful beneath his trembling, that he shall wear the mark of the king?
Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling?

For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?

Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs then shall you truly dance."



Beautiful, hope you enjoyed it. I love you Guys xxxxxx

A Tribute

Well, it happened. I knew when I made the choice to move out to Australia that it would be an issue some day, maybe sooner, maybe later, that I would lose family or friends. It's no different really from living just around the corner but you're more aware of it somehow, knowing that you couldn't make it home for the funeral, that you would be so very far away. Not that you could do anything if you were closer, it's not like being there would make you able to reach that person anyway. I just spoke to my Brother on the phone and he told me that my Grandpa died on Friday. He was sitting at his computer, playing solitaire. He loved his computer. They reckon it was probably a heart attack, but either way it doesn't seem that he suffered much. Either way, from everything I know, he lived a very full life and was content.
It's so weird, and I'm sorry if this is all a bit rambling but I'm trying to work out what I feel. See I only spoke to my Brother about half an hour ago. It's so weird. To say that I'm numb wouldn't be true but I do feel somewhat....distant. When I think about it though, I guess it's just the normal kind of feeling that we experience when we first hear that someone we loved has moved on. We have no real frame of reference, no way of conceiving of what has really happened, until at some random moment that voice kicks in, telling us, "you'll never see them again". As I said, I was aware when I moved out here that it would happen one day but I guess I didn't expect it to be so soon. I expected to see him at least one more time. But then I suppose you always do, no matter how near or far you are. You always hear people say, "I wish I could tell them just one more time that I love them, I wish I could say goodbye properly". I don't really feel like that as I try always to live a full life with no regrets. I try to take every available opportunity to show and tell people I love how much I love them, how much they mean to me, and funnily enough, I spoke to both my Grandpa and my Grandma last Monday. It was the first time they've called me out here, as I think they didn't realise how easy and cheap it is nowadays to call the other side of the world. But having said that, maybe I don't really try as hard as I could. So many times I said to myself, I really should call Grandma and Grandpa, or write. This serves that purpose, primarily. It's making me think. But still there's no regrets. I know how futile they are, how little they change. But we can use the energy that would go into regret to change our lives for the better. So I will, and this is the first step. I was writing this blog mainly for myself, to understand this, but then I came to the realisation that I could use it to say that last goodbye to my Grandpa. See as I said he loved his computer, and would spend as much time on it as he possibly could. And I figure the internet is not unlike the ether, it is a world of seemingly infinite possibilities, so wide reaching that I may as well send a message, a prayer out on its waves, as into the ether. And it seems so fitting.
Then, as I 've been writing this, I've realised that it can serve yet another purpose. I can use it to tell all of you, my beloved friends and family, that I love you, so that if any of us should depart this world tonight, we know. I want there to be no doubt, I love you. And the fact that I'm so far away doesn't diminish that whatsoever. I didn't move this far away because I don't love you enough, moving here was one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make and I had to weigh up what was best for my future, for my dreams, according to the options open to me. That sounds selfish put like that but I'm also acutely aware that I don't serve anybody else by being less than I can be, even if it means that I'm right there.
So there it is, those three words that mean so much more than a million could ever describe. I LOVE YOU. You all mean the world to me, and a part of me wishes that we could all be together in the one beautiful place, but another tells it that this is the way things have to be, and we shall all grow stronger and enrich each other's lives for it.
And also, Grandpa, I wouldn't know where to begin. I could say how lucky I feel to have had a Grandpa like you, to have known a man like you. I could say how much you were loved by all who knew you, talk of what a comforting presence you were. I could talk of so many things, your intelligence, your knowledge, your skill with languages. I could say how I'm glad you no longer have to suffer the terrible pain of the arthritis that has plagued you, but it all means so little now. Go in peace. I love you xxxxx

The beginning

Well, what to say? I recently got a computer, which I had been meaning to do since I moved to Australia with my Girlfriend Lisa last July, in order to better keep in touch with my family in England. Now I've got one and I love it, writing emails, surfing the web, awesome. Then it happened, last night I was reading a friend's blog and thought, what the hell, there's not enough shit floating around the web, I'll add my ten cents. So I set myself up a blog. Fantastic. Now that it's all set up, I wonder why. I really don't have anything interesting to say. My life is very average. Don't get me wrong, I love my life and wouldn't have it any other way, I just don't think it's something anybody would be interested in reading about. You're reading it though, whoever you are, so thank you. I hope you're not too bored.
So as I said, I really don't have anything much to say right now. It's my lunchbreak and I'm killing time before I go back to work. I'm a ballet dancer by the way, which in itself is somewhat unusual, a Man in tights. Something to be feared really.
The main purpose of this blog, actually, is to keep in touch with my friends and family when I don't find the time to write to everyone, which I almost never do, so pretty much all the time actually! So if you're reading this Guys, thanks for stopping by. It does kind of save you from my boring emails that go kind of like, "um, don't have much news really, life is good and goes on as usual". Instead, you can read a blog saying the same! And if I do start finding something worth writing about, it might just become worth reading it. Pah.
Anyway, I'll post again soon telling you there's nothing new to say, I love you Guys xxxxx